Fast-In Fast-Out...

Yesterday, as I watched my rather easy going mom hush up work hastily for her Karwa Chauth fast, I was left wondering what drives women to keep themselves away from food and water for one whole day, and a little simple, only without food occasion on some other special days. Frankly, I don’t really believe in staying hungry (or for that matter, even remotely hungry) anytime (No, I’m not fat, BTW) for any purpose. So out of curiosity, I decided to try this little stunt myself. Now Hold On! Before you get ur mind drifting, lemme tell ya, IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE! Karwa Chauth happened to fall on the same day as my thought, or vice versa. I don't really understand "natural" coincidences sometimes.


So began a funny day, with my mom coming to know about my "VRAT" first thing in the morning. She was shellshocked (as expected!) and perhaps amused (trying to figure out a girl, maybe!) and intrinsically happy (hell, I dunno y!).


Everything was going well till 11, when my stomach made its first hunger call. Now maybe I missed a li'l detail on the D-Day eve that wasn't very encouraging. The womenfolk somehow get up at 3 in d morning when men are just about dreaming of anything and everything, and have a li'l respectable snack called "I DONT KNOW". So they find a small helping at midnite/midmorning and WE,THE MEN don’t know it! My bet is that my Dad wont know it as well (I hope!).


Where were we?

Yeah, basically I got screwed!

Anyway, I still decided to go ahead with my plan, since my f-ing mind said "DUDE,U'RE A MAN! Hell, why didn’t it remind me of that in the first place, that I shouldn't be fasting like women(dont get me wrong, I'm not a male chauvinist, I believe some things only women should do!)


Somehow I managed to keep myself busy till 3. Then came the distress call, which started a li'l zombie like FOODFOODFOODFOODFOOD and ended like the zombie dying of a gunshot...FOOFOoFoofoofofffuuuuuuu. . . BAM!!

Now let me tell u guys, sleeping can come in really handy when u're in the state of HUNGAR(Y). A li'l self containment exercise and food can be kept out dreams as well. Sad part is, I learnt this after I got up!

The clock read 5.45 when I rubbed my drowsy eyes. Crap! 3 more f-ing hours to food, if i'd be lucky to survive by then. By the time I got up, mom already had a lot of chores done n was preparing for some PUJA which she wanted me to sit in(since I was d newest "gal" of the house!). I wished I could catch some more sleep, but shit happens at the choicest of times. I realised I had to study for exams as well.


Then came the really funny part. Just as I was about to hit my books, dad came home early (Husbands are so sweet! though i'd say they aren't supposed to go to work for the day) and guess what, he bought tasty looking junk we weren't eating till dinner. Damn It! I said, how is one supposed to fast in such situations. So I dropped my perfectly bullshit plan, and went straight on to attack the stuff. I gorged on the dhoklas (dont imagine!) with such force I cleaned 'em up in a flash before my parents could even wonder what's going on. Believe me guys, the yellow yuck was never so tasty, n sexy! Strangely, I may have missed overhearing a conversation the day before, that some guests were to arrive in d evening and the stuff was supposedly for them. IGNORANCE IS BLISS, i said to myself, before I got up to get another set of "respectable dhoklas" as a replacement, out of my own pocket, fully CONTENT with my investment. . .


As I finish writing this, I’ve already had dinner(nice!) and dessert(bingo!) and got the three most important lessons in my life...


1. Hail the ladies!

2. Know the protocol perfectly before taking to such an exercise!

3. Never try this again, ever!


Though I may have not seen the fast through, it still counts as a 'fast' fast, rite??

Maybe i'd get better at it next year.

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SLAP! Refer Rule 3...