MIRACLED

A day of miracles..
Yup,that's what today was like for me. Well, not that i genuinely saw the world saved from Armageddon, it was a few small incidents that really made it seem miraculous.

To start off, just as i got up from my sleep, i received a text from someone i've been waiting to hear from, since like 6 months. Now what has that to do with a miracle?
Well, i almost certainly crushed my chances of talking again, and frankly i've been all whiny with God since the day. And yesterday was the summit. I guess lord finally had to give in. I still dont know what's it gonna be like again, though I hope it turns out well. Thanks almighty. Atleast it could cure some of my issues with life.

Next, I had the nicest 10 minute conversation with my Dad. It was great just standing under the sun, looking out of our balcony, seeing people and madness fly by, while we lazily sipped our brut and said nothing. We dont really get to spend the kind of Dad-Son moments we'd like together. And this was just amazing.

My buddy Rasto finally fell in love, and found his love as well. Now he's making hefty plans for "A NIGHT TO REMEMBER". Easy Boy!
Catch him at
http://arpitrastogi.blogspot.com/2009/11/kuch-kuch-hota-hai.html

There are more of them, like my PC which finally started running all by itself after a fortnight of endless boot-up refusals. And for the first time ever, i'm sharing a serious thought with people.

I guess one positive act straightens everything else up. Clearly, in my case, the text started a chain of positive events.

Well, its still a few hours to go before i call it a day, who knows i may be in for even more surprises if not miracles.

peAce

P.S. I almost forgot, I broke my 1 post per month rule. That does qualify for a miracle as well,right?

November Blues

Alrite, time for the monthly post.
I was wondering what crap to key down this time, since i'm not keeping sane since the last few days.
So came up the term Loneliness Management. Now don't ask me why on earth did i pick this topic, i wont answer.
So guys (i don't think a gal ever visited my blog!) here are a few tips to keeping up with times when you don't feel like being with anyone:

1. Watch Movies(universal!)
2. Watch Porn(typical!)
3. Sleep 18 hours a day.
4. Plan about sleeping off the other 6 hours as well.
5. Eat any and every shit u find!
6. Don't work. It degrades you and makes you look tired. Save your FACE!
7. OK FINE. WORK but only during WORK-OUT's.
8. Switch off your cell. Chances are bright that you'd be tempted to talk to someone. But hey,on the even sunnier side, nobody else would be tempted to talk to you! Easy eh?
9. Ok, even if you are the super-critical "i shouldn't miss a call,it could be important,someone could be in danger of life" phoney, make sure you take the longest time possible off your cell.
10. Do i need to tell you the cell should be silent?
11. Eat MAGGI.
12. Eat another MAGGI.
13. Find a copy of Playboy. Go through it twice.
14. Scream out "SCREW YOU BITCHES" from the rooftop.
14a.If cops arrive,FLIP THEM OFF.
14b.If they don't,flip off your neighbors,they'll call the cops. Then flip them off.
15. Land in JAIL.
16. Watch Neil Nitin Mukesh strip naked.
17. Really? You wanna see Neil Nitin Mukesh nude? You pervert!
18. Get off my blog!
19. LEFT AS EXERCISE.

20. Oh,i just realized i can only count till 20. Got some elementary school issues!

BONUS. >>> WRITE A BLOG POST.

EDIT 1:
Take a DUMP. 30 mins of peace + an entire-day of joy! Courtesy : RastoGI

Congratulations, if you do these correctly, you'd have just earned yourself a free Diploma in 'FUCK THE WORLD SCIENCE'. N that proves you're a lonesome d*ck.

Since, you now have lots of time, make yourself a copy of the certificate you just earned the way you want,but just adhere to these basic guidelines :

a) Paper Size should be no more than 3 Toilet Paper Lengths BY 2 Toilet Paper Widths.
b) The top must read FUCK THE WORLD in BOLD.
c) Paint it BLUE.
d) Write whatever the fuck you want. No reservations.
e) Get it signed by the world's biggest loser you know. I mean SIGN IT YOURSELF.

CHEERS TO ALL THE DIX OUT THERE!
peAce

Fast-In Fast-Out...

Yesterday, as I watched my rather easy going mom hush up work hastily for her Karwa Chauth fast, I was left wondering what drives women to keep themselves away from food and water for one whole day, and a little simple, only without food occasion on some other special days. Frankly, I don’t really believe in staying hungry (or for that matter, even remotely hungry) anytime (No, I’m not fat, BTW) for any purpose. So out of curiosity, I decided to try this little stunt myself. Now Hold On! Before you get ur mind drifting, lemme tell ya, IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE! Karwa Chauth happened to fall on the same day as my thought, or vice versa. I don't really understand "natural" coincidences sometimes.


So began a funny day, with my mom coming to know about my "VRAT" first thing in the morning. She was shellshocked (as expected!) and perhaps amused (trying to figure out a girl, maybe!) and intrinsically happy (hell, I dunno y!).


Everything was going well till 11, when my stomach made its first hunger call. Now maybe I missed a li'l detail on the D-Day eve that wasn't very encouraging. The womenfolk somehow get up at 3 in d morning when men are just about dreaming of anything and everything, and have a li'l respectable snack called "I DONT KNOW". So they find a small helping at midnite/midmorning and WE,THE MEN don’t know it! My bet is that my Dad wont know it as well (I hope!).


Where were we?

Yeah, basically I got screwed!

Anyway, I still decided to go ahead with my plan, since my f-ing mind said "DUDE,U'RE A MAN! Hell, why didn’t it remind me of that in the first place, that I shouldn't be fasting like women(dont get me wrong, I'm not a male chauvinist, I believe some things only women should do!)


Somehow I managed to keep myself busy till 3. Then came the distress call, which started a li'l zombie like FOODFOODFOODFOODFOOD and ended like the zombie dying of a gunshot...FOOFOoFoofoofofffuuuuuuu. . . BAM!!

Now let me tell u guys, sleeping can come in really handy when u're in the state of HUNGAR(Y). A li'l self containment exercise and food can be kept out dreams as well. Sad part is, I learnt this after I got up!

The clock read 5.45 when I rubbed my drowsy eyes. Crap! 3 more f-ing hours to food, if i'd be lucky to survive by then. By the time I got up, mom already had a lot of chores done n was preparing for some PUJA which she wanted me to sit in(since I was d newest "gal" of the house!). I wished I could catch some more sleep, but shit happens at the choicest of times. I realised I had to study for exams as well.


Then came the really funny part. Just as I was about to hit my books, dad came home early (Husbands are so sweet! though i'd say they aren't supposed to go to work for the day) and guess what, he bought tasty looking junk we weren't eating till dinner. Damn It! I said, how is one supposed to fast in such situations. So I dropped my perfectly bullshit plan, and went straight on to attack the stuff. I gorged on the dhoklas (dont imagine!) with such force I cleaned 'em up in a flash before my parents could even wonder what's going on. Believe me guys, the yellow yuck was never so tasty, n sexy! Strangely, I may have missed overhearing a conversation the day before, that some guests were to arrive in d evening and the stuff was supposedly for them. IGNORANCE IS BLISS, i said to myself, before I got up to get another set of "respectable dhoklas" as a replacement, out of my own pocket, fully CONTENT with my investment. . .


As I finish writing this, I’ve already had dinner(nice!) and dessert(bingo!) and got the three most important lessons in my life...


1. Hail the ladies!

2. Know the protocol perfectly before taking to such an exercise!

3. Never try this again, ever!


Though I may have not seen the fast through, it still counts as a 'fast' fast, rite??

Maybe i'd get better at it next year.

.

..

...

SLAP! Refer Rule 3...

Man At Work!